Thursday, May 20, 2010
Sunday, May 9, 2010
DJ on Silence: I love you, mom
I love you mom, but Aucktoritates Aristatelis would have shot me down if he were alive with his quote that says “Parents love their children more than children love their parents.” Take a time out! Give me a break, will you? It’s mother’s day……
I hit the clock when it struck 6 in the morning. Half asleep and half awake, I clothed myself like a drunken dude. I’m going to hit the market today. My dad and brother just couldn’t let me have all the fun. The 3 of us gaily made our way to the market. Fresh clams, prawns, fish, vegetables, you name it! We’re doing something special for moms tonight.
Her morning started out on a casual note. There were no big hugs, no rich and fattening food to greet her on her bed. Dad, brother and I are all out, sister’s busy making a card in her room. Mom probably thinks that she’s still sleeping like a log like she always do. No one was to be seen. Well, there was no verbal communication that supposedly delighted morning. What a way to start mother’s day, poor mom…..
Well, if you say that there were no communications at all, I think you might want to rephrase your thinking. Indirectly, no matter how silent it is, we’re all performing non- verbal action that indicates otherwise. The trouble to wake up that early, the effort to make a card, the effort to make a trip down town to get a cake, is all acts of love. The message? “Mom, just wait.”
I think that sometimes, action does in a way replace speech in communication. For example, when a boy tries his best to talk to a girl, he’s trying to say “Hey, I'm interested in you. I want to know you more.” And hopefully that one fine day he could be more than friends with that particular girl. Or put it another way, when a motorist on the road shows you his fantastically short finger, he trying to say “You ‘smart’ boy! Pick your own lane!”. Does it make any sense to you now?
At 5pm, dinner preparation began. Sauces, vermicelli, seafood and all the ingredients were being meshed, mixed, boiled, and even grilled. All you can her is just sound of utensils hitting on each other, desperate chefs trying to meet each other’s deadline, and you can even smell aroma steaming out of the kitchen. Come to think of it, these elements are also part and parcel of communication. The message? “Mom, I’m preparing a special dinner for you. It’s from the bottom of my heart.”
During dinner time, mom couldn’t help but to express how happy she was. What did we do in return? Just smile…..and eat, of course. The message? “You’re welcome mom, it’s just a small dot compared to what you’ve been doing all these while.”
Just before I hit the hay sack and bid my grandma moon goodnight, I slipped into the master’s bedroom. With a Chopin’s piano playing at the background, I gave her a tight hug and a kiss on her face. 3 words is all I said the whole day (at least to her), that is “Night night mom!” With that, I left the room.
The message? There’s only one perception and frequency that everyone could agree on. And it is crystal clear, that is “I love you, mom!”
Live online,
-DJ Damian Thomas Khaw
I hit the clock when it struck 6 in the morning. Half asleep and half awake, I clothed myself like a drunken dude. I’m going to hit the market today. My dad and brother just couldn’t let me have all the fun. The 3 of us gaily made our way to the market. Fresh clams, prawns, fish, vegetables, you name it! We’re doing something special for moms tonight.
Her morning started out on a casual note. There were no big hugs, no rich and fattening food to greet her on her bed. Dad, brother and I are all out, sister’s busy making a card in her room. Mom probably thinks that she’s still sleeping like a log like she always do. No one was to be seen. Well, there was no verbal communication that supposedly delighted morning. What a way to start mother’s day, poor mom…..
Well, if you say that there were no communications at all, I think you might want to rephrase your thinking. Indirectly, no matter how silent it is, we’re all performing non- verbal action that indicates otherwise. The trouble to wake up that early, the effort to make a card, the effort to make a trip down town to get a cake, is all acts of love. The message? “Mom, just wait.”
I think that sometimes, action does in a way replace speech in communication. For example, when a boy tries his best to talk to a girl, he’s trying to say “Hey, I'm interested in you. I want to know you more.” And hopefully that one fine day he could be more than friends with that particular girl. Or put it another way, when a motorist on the road shows you his fantastically short finger, he trying to say “You ‘smart’ boy! Pick your own lane!”. Does it make any sense to you now?
At 5pm, dinner preparation began. Sauces, vermicelli, seafood and all the ingredients were being meshed, mixed, boiled, and even grilled. All you can her is just sound of utensils hitting on each other, desperate chefs trying to meet each other’s deadline, and you can even smell aroma steaming out of the kitchen. Come to think of it, these elements are also part and parcel of communication. The message? “Mom, I’m preparing a special dinner for you. It’s from the bottom of my heart.”
During dinner time, mom couldn’t help but to express how happy she was. What did we do in return? Just smile…..and eat, of course. The message? “You’re welcome mom, it’s just a small dot compared to what you’ve been doing all these while.”
Just before I hit the hay sack and bid my grandma moon goodnight, I slipped into the master’s bedroom. With a Chopin’s piano playing at the background, I gave her a tight hug and a kiss on her face. 3 words is all I said the whole day (at least to her), that is “Night night mom!” With that, I left the room.
The message? There’s only one perception and frequency that everyone could agree on. And it is crystal clear, that is “I love you, mom!”
Live online,
-DJ Damian Thomas Khaw
Friday, May 7, 2010
DJ on Message: ~either you are interested or you are not
The intention when composing a piece of message actually takes quite a lot of effort and sincerity. It's just like wrapping a present for a special someone, and after that you just hope for the best. It's when you hope that the other person will return the pleasant favor as well. If they do, you should be happy.
But the problem starts when the other person do not reply at all. Now this is actually means a lot to the sender. It could just mean that you are not interested, and the effect could be very painful. It's just like handing over a box of chocolate but getting shot at in return. And it is very demotivating. This only applies when the receiver does not reply at all.
When a message sent that does not get a reply actually tells you 1 thing, and there is only one conclusion you can draw out of it. That is, "You're just not interested". Simple as that. And there is no need for a lecturer to explain that.
You see, what I'm trying to say is that when you do not reply a message to someone who sends it to you, it just shows how much you value that relationship. If you reply, you are making an effort in that relationship. When you don't, you're either starting to waste it, or you have already decided to waste the relationship.
I'm not only implying this to a boy-girl messaging. In fact, it does apply to a mother to son messaging, or even coworkers to coworkers, and even friends to friends. These are the relationship that we take it for granted and in fact, some of us even label it as insignificant. Am I right? I could be wrong as well. Do enlighten me if it were wrong.
We usually do not experience this sharp pain untill we experience it first hand. And the effect could be very devastating, espcially when the person means a lot to you. And when you get a niel response, you might just loose yourself. And this is very true. You just have to feel it yourselve.
So the next time you receive a messange from anyone, be it your mother, sibling, friend, or even your special girl or boy friend, just keep in mind that you have two choices which solely depends on your interest. It is either you are interested or you are not...........
So what's on your mind?
DJ online,
-Damian Thomas Khaw
But the problem starts when the other person do not reply at all. Now this is actually means a lot to the sender. It could just mean that you are not interested, and the effect could be very painful. It's just like handing over a box of chocolate but getting shot at in return. And it is very demotivating. This only applies when the receiver does not reply at all.
When a message sent that does not get a reply actually tells you 1 thing, and there is only one conclusion you can draw out of it. That is, "You're just not interested". Simple as that. And there is no need for a lecturer to explain that.
You see, what I'm trying to say is that when you do not reply a message to someone who sends it to you, it just shows how much you value that relationship. If you reply, you are making an effort in that relationship. When you don't, you're either starting to waste it, or you have already decided to waste the relationship.
I'm not only implying this to a boy-girl messaging. In fact, it does apply to a mother to son messaging, or even coworkers to coworkers, and even friends to friends. These are the relationship that we take it for granted and in fact, some of us even label it as insignificant. Am I right? I could be wrong as well. Do enlighten me if it were wrong.
We usually do not experience this sharp pain untill we experience it first hand. And the effect could be very devastating, espcially when the person means a lot to you. And when you get a niel response, you might just loose yourself. And this is very true. You just have to feel it yourselve.
So the next time you receive a messange from anyone, be it your mother, sibling, friend, or even your special girl or boy friend, just keep in mind that you have two choices which solely depends on your interest. It is either you are interested or you are not...........
So what's on your mind?
DJ online,
-Damian Thomas Khaw
DJ on Storm: ~it only takes 1 minute
As the saying goes, "a miss is as good as a mile." One could never predict the vast implication when a small mistake is made, be it through speech or even through action. Some lucky ones learn this lesson far away from conflict, while some just had to learn it the hard way.
Speech is a great blessing, but it can be a great curse, for while it helps to make our intention and desire known to our fellows, it can also, if we use it carelessly, make our attitude completely misunderstood.
A slip of the tongue is actually not a fault of the mind. In my opinion, a slip of a tounge, the use of an unusual word or of an ambiguous word may create an enemy when we can help to be a friend. Speking of speech, different classes of people use different vocabilaries and the ordinary speech of an educated person may strike an uneducated listener. Again, competency in communication is vital in avoiding misunderstanding. So speech is not really a gift to be used freely witout thought which demands careful thinking.
However, no matter how much a man wants to avoid conflict through speech, one could never assure that you wont encounter a bad experience of communication. This is especially true when an idea of yours is pieced in a way where it might sound offending to another party. And the implication? The reaction was never what you wil expect to see from that person, especially when that person has been nice to you before the conflict is initiated.
The key so dissolve conflict like this actually takes more than solving the issue there and then through means of meta communication. Yes, a few manage to sit through the talk, but how many of us are strong enought to do that? You see, a conflict only happens when a party is offended and a confrontation has taken place. And my point here is that people involved will definitely by emotional. When emotion takes the better of us, rational thinking is totally imbalance. Personally, I had a similar experience as this. And well, it was really hard to think rationally, especially when you're already emotionally involved.
What about the cure? We are familiar with the phrase "Time will heal on it's own". However, time is not the only ingredient to this malacious disease. Empathy and critical thinking is required as well. In an argument, I strongly believe that no one is totally right or wrong. Let's take an argument between a young teenager and an elder as an example. Perhaps, the idea that was suggested sounds reasonable to a young teenager, but it may sound offending to an elder.Well, I also believe that the elder must have his or her won reason to disagree with that young boy. But then again, emphaty from both parties must take place. The elder has to understand that the young boy is still inexperience and he's prone to make mistakes, while the young boy has to think from the elder's point of view. Either way, ego has to be humbled if emphaty has to take place. This is because any egoistic person will always think that he's totally right. And for him to emphatise the other party's view? That will have to wait till the day when pigs fly.
It takes only one minute to end waht seem to be a happy relationship. However, one minute is also what it takes for reconciliation with each other. One spells a longer and stronger bond, while the other will instantly disintegrate that bond.
So the next time you're in a conflict, pick a stand and work towards it. Either you save it, or you leacve it. What's your stand?
DJ online,
-Damian Thomas Khaw
Speech is a great blessing, but it can be a great curse, for while it helps to make our intention and desire known to our fellows, it can also, if we use it carelessly, make our attitude completely misunderstood.
A slip of the tongue is actually not a fault of the mind. In my opinion, a slip of a tounge, the use of an unusual word or of an ambiguous word may create an enemy when we can help to be a friend. Speking of speech, different classes of people use different vocabilaries and the ordinary speech of an educated person may strike an uneducated listener. Again, competency in communication is vital in avoiding misunderstanding. So speech is not really a gift to be used freely witout thought which demands careful thinking.
However, no matter how much a man wants to avoid conflict through speech, one could never assure that you wont encounter a bad experience of communication. This is especially true when an idea of yours is pieced in a way where it might sound offending to another party. And the implication? The reaction was never what you wil expect to see from that person, especially when that person has been nice to you before the conflict is initiated.
The key so dissolve conflict like this actually takes more than solving the issue there and then through means of meta communication. Yes, a few manage to sit through the talk, but how many of us are strong enought to do that? You see, a conflict only happens when a party is offended and a confrontation has taken place. And my point here is that people involved will definitely by emotional. When emotion takes the better of us, rational thinking is totally imbalance. Personally, I had a similar experience as this. And well, it was really hard to think rationally, especially when you're already emotionally involved.
What about the cure? We are familiar with the phrase "Time will heal on it's own". However, time is not the only ingredient to this malacious disease. Empathy and critical thinking is required as well. In an argument, I strongly believe that no one is totally right or wrong. Let's take an argument between a young teenager and an elder as an example. Perhaps, the idea that was suggested sounds reasonable to a young teenager, but it may sound offending to an elder.Well, I also believe that the elder must have his or her won reason to disagree with that young boy. But then again, emphaty from both parties must take place. The elder has to understand that the young boy is still inexperience and he's prone to make mistakes, while the young boy has to think from the elder's point of view. Either way, ego has to be humbled if emphaty has to take place. This is because any egoistic person will always think that he's totally right. And for him to emphatise the other party's view? That will have to wait till the day when pigs fly.
It takes only one minute to end waht seem to be a happy relationship. However, one minute is also what it takes for reconciliation with each other. One spells a longer and stronger bond, while the other will instantly disintegrate that bond.
So the next time you're in a conflict, pick a stand and work towards it. Either you save it, or you leacve it. What's your stand?
DJ online,
-Damian Thomas Khaw
Scouting: ~The Knots of Life
“Our relationship is on the line” does that sound familiar to you? The truth is, our relationship with people has always been on the line. And the thickness of the line doesn’t increase, and that’s what makes it so precious to us. That is what drives us to take delicate care on the line. But there is one thing that slips out of people’s mind. That is, no matter what line is it, it is always tied with a knot. Whether or not the relationship fruits, solely depends on how tight the knot is. If it’s loose, it will just slip off and there you have a line that’s lifeless.
You see, the knot represents effort. Why? It’s because you need to put in a certain amount of effort in order to produce the knot. And due to the fact that knot makes ties strings together, it show that there’s energy. The tighter the knot is, the warmer the relationship. And relationship varies from person to person, it is reverence when directed to parents; companionship when flows towards friends; passion when it is felt towards the partner; respect when it moves towards elders; kindness when drawn towards children.
Soft Tender Respect in Growth is what makes up the word STRING. None can ever deny that in what ever relationship is may be, these 3 elements, Softness of one’s heart, tenderness through caring, and respect are the keys to keeping and maintaining the string. Should anyone decide at any point of time to not maintain that string, it will frail and might just break out of the extreme pressure, be it depression or rejection.
Well, there are no textbook ways to maintain a string. Just like splicing in scouting, each splice has its own usage, and it can only be used under specific condition. Keeping that in mind when maintaining a relationship, everyone has his or her own way of keeping friends. Some are externally warm; some doesn’t show much emotion but keep their friends close at heart, while some are passively warm. The underlining fact is that as long as the spirit of companionship never dies, you can be assured that the sting will never frail.
Well, knowing that the thickness of the string will never increase, but the strength of the knot may increase, it all comes down to how much effort one puts into tying that knot. It could be a permanent strong knot, or it could just loosen up over time. So what’s your knot?
DJ online,
-DJ Damian Thomas Khaw
Thursday, May 6, 2010
Neutralization (pH 7): HCL + NaOH -- NaCL + H2O
Back in high school, we learned that Acid mixed with Bases, and acid mixed with Alkali will give us salt and water. Salt and water is a product of a process known as neutralization, with a pH 7. pH 7 in chemistry is actually the neutral state of a mixture. It is neither acidic nor alkali. Of course, if the mixture were to have a pH 6, it would give acidic property, while a pH 8 would give an alkali property. To many, a slight change in pH would not be an issue to fuss over with. However, a vast difference in pH would bring about much trouble, it would either turn very sour, or it would turn very bitter.
Applying that knowledge to human communication, by taking pH values as the degree of interest in a conversation, which could be either interesting or not, it could actually serve as a prediction to whether your conversation partner is interested to communicate with you again. Still can’t see the connection, can you?
You see, in a conversation, it could either be dull or interesting. While pH 7 serves as a neutral stand, pH 1 and pH 14 serves as the extreme, with pH1 indicating an extremely dull conversation, while pH 14 indicating an extremely interesting conversation. Now, this is only a small fraction to the whole communication equation. You see, whether or not your conversation partner looks forward to your next conversation actually depends on the pH value of your current conversation. For example, if your conversation is at a pH value of 1, you might just blow off your chance to have another conversation with your current partner. Now you might be thinking that pH 14 is the best, but I assure you not. Why? Well, if your conversation were to have a pH reading of 14, which is extremely interesting, you might have a hard time keeping up to your partner’s expectation. So if you fail to deliver the same amount or more satisfaction, you might have the possibility of loosing your partner’s interest in you, which is as good as a pH 1 conversation.
Well, as you can see the key to an ongoing and interest motivated conversation is not to be on any extreme side, but to balance the interesting and dull. Too interesting will keep your partner entertained but might back fire you the next time if you are unable to deliver the same level of satisfaction, which could be pictured as a one hit wonder kind of thing. Too dull will just kill your chance of talking to your partner again, which can be pictured as a suicide plan. So the key is to be at pH 7. A slight increase or decrease will actually keep your partner hanging and wanting for more. Why? See, if your conversation decreases a little in pH value, it will keep your partner wondering what happened to you, and he or she might just ask you more questions and show more concern. If your conversation has a little increase in pH reading, you can be pictured as a little boy giving a little girl a kiss on the cheek and run away after that, leaving the girl in a fascinated, entertained, and surprised (in a good way) mode. It is like drugs that keeps your partner wanting for more.
Well, one can argue that the equation is not as simple as how I proposed. No doubt it cannot cover the whole picture. Definitely you will have factors like history with the partner and mutual understanding as disapproving factors. For example, one can argue that a dull conversation will not dissatisfy a long married couple, in which you will find a long history of knowledge between them. However, what is proposed here is only a theory that serves as a general statement, which is not totally wrong, and neither totally right.
Well, in general, the key to keep your conversation partner interested in your next conversation is to tap into his or her interest and get out, which is a conversation with a pH value of 6 or 8. Too much or too little of it will just kill their interest.
So, what is the conclusion? Is to try to keep it at a pH 7 level, where you keep them hanging and interested. Try experiment this theory, you might just find it fascinating on how true or how false it is to you. Either way, it is worth your 5 minutes finding out!!!
DJ online,
-DJ Damian Thomas Khaw
When Effort (E)= Force (F)
Can Effort (E) = Force (F), the physics equation be related to life, the human communication of life. Does it give a positive value or does it in turn give a negative value? We are familiar with the way people accept and reject us. However, little attention is paid to whether or not that acceptance or rejection is due to the effort put in. But there will come a time where we’ll all come to a point of time where we ponder whether extra effort in a conversation will give bigger impact in communication, especially when it involves the people we treasure. It not only works for the people we care about, but it also works on everyone, regardless of who they are, and their status. For a competent speaker, the E matters a lot.
In physics, force is a vector quantity, which means that is has direction of propagation, taking that F1 + F2 =F3 (note: F is Force). When the F1 and F2 forces are acting in the same direction, the F3 would result in a bigger force. How ever, if the F1 and F2 are acting in a different direction, repulsion occurs, therefore, F3 will be a “0” value, or even a negative value. Therefore, if a positive F3 is desired, the force of either F1 or F2 has to be larger than the other in order to obtain a positive result.
This principle can be used in our life, taking F1 and F2 as the effort used of two people in a conversation, while the F3 represents the velocity of their conversation. To critically think it, the result of F3 greatly depends on the attitude of F1 and F2 in the conversation. If either one of them were to be less interested, the F3 , resultant force would be dissatisfactory. Therefore, F1 or F2 has to put in more effort if a good conversation were to be achieved. And the answer to why either F1 or F2 is less interested could be dependent on these few factors, namely tiredness, stress from work, conflict of interest and many more. To overcome this imbalanced equation, cracking a joke to ease the tension, or even talking about the subject’s interest and even listening extra hard would be a great catalyst. However, many a times, the less interested party fails to acknowledge the extra effort put in. But on the other hand, some might realize the extra F in the Equation and work extra hard to balance it, now this is the exception in our human “physics” world.
But bear in mind that realizing the imbalanced force in the equation might not lead to a positive integer. It could also bring about negative values. For instance, let’s take a boy chasing a girl for instance. Naturally, when a boy likes a girl, he would put in extra effort to make the girl happy. Now many a times, whether or not the girl is interested or not will affect the F3 resultant force. If it’s a yes, then F1+F2=F3, with F3 as a positive integer. But if it’s a no, then the extra effort might just remain at a “0” constant value, or it could backfire and travel done the negative line. So this proves that Effort doesn’t always = Force.
From the examples given above, it could be derived that F1 and F2 are independent of each other. F1 will do it’s part while F2 on the other hand would react to personal feelings and interest on F1. The F3 varies from situation to situation. If a positive value were to be obtained, we could be sure that the F3 would accelerate and increase in Velocity (V).
However, if a negative value were to be obtained, the situation is best handled by the potential contributor at that point of time. The rule states that in normal circumstances, F3 would either be a constant value, a “0” value or a negative value. But the exception is when F3 is a positive value and increasing.
However the situation maybe, or however the resultant force may be, the most important factor in a conversation equation is the willingness from both sides of the party to contribute and to give a chance to each other in a conversation. More chance= more open mindedness= higher chance of a high F3. And the equation can work the other way.
Effort (E) = Force (F) is an applicable physics concept in our human “physics” communication. The mechanism remains the same, but the subject varies, and so does the Resultant Force (F3). As how Einstein words it in his renowned second law of motion: “Every action has a reaction”.
Therefore the conclusion is:
· The Resultant force (F) in the case of F1 + F2= F3 is dependent on situational factors and personal contribution.
· The Effort (E) = Force (F) theory is proven workable in Human Communication.
DJ online,
DJ Damian Thomas Khaw
In physics, force is a vector quantity, which means that is has direction of propagation, taking that F1 + F2 =F3 (note: F is Force). When the F1 and F2 forces are acting in the same direction, the F3 would result in a bigger force. How ever, if the F1 and F2 are acting in a different direction, repulsion occurs, therefore, F3 will be a “0” value, or even a negative value. Therefore, if a positive F3 is desired, the force of either F1 or F2 has to be larger than the other in order to obtain a positive result.
This principle can be used in our life, taking F1 and F2 as the effort used of two people in a conversation, while the F3 represents the velocity of their conversation. To critically think it, the result of F3 greatly depends on the attitude of F1 and F2 in the conversation. If either one of them were to be less interested, the F3 , resultant force would be dissatisfactory. Therefore, F1 or F2 has to put in more effort if a good conversation were to be achieved. And the answer to why either F1 or F2 is less interested could be dependent on these few factors, namely tiredness, stress from work, conflict of interest and many more. To overcome this imbalanced equation, cracking a joke to ease the tension, or even talking about the subject’s interest and even listening extra hard would be a great catalyst. However, many a times, the less interested party fails to acknowledge the extra effort put in. But on the other hand, some might realize the extra F in the Equation and work extra hard to balance it, now this is the exception in our human “physics” world.
But bear in mind that realizing the imbalanced force in the equation might not lead to a positive integer. It could also bring about negative values. For instance, let’s take a boy chasing a girl for instance. Naturally, when a boy likes a girl, he would put in extra effort to make the girl happy. Now many a times, whether or not the girl is interested or not will affect the F3 resultant force. If it’s a yes, then F1+F2=F3, with F3 as a positive integer. But if it’s a no, then the extra effort might just remain at a “0” constant value, or it could backfire and travel done the negative line. So this proves that Effort doesn’t always = Force.
From the examples given above, it could be derived that F1 and F2 are independent of each other. F1 will do it’s part while F2 on the other hand would react to personal feelings and interest on F1. The F3 varies from situation to situation. If a positive value were to be obtained, we could be sure that the F3 would accelerate and increase in Velocity (V).
However, if a negative value were to be obtained, the situation is best handled by the potential contributor at that point of time. The rule states that in normal circumstances, F3 would either be a constant value, a “0” value or a negative value. But the exception is when F3 is a positive value and increasing.
However the situation maybe, or however the resultant force may be, the most important factor in a conversation equation is the willingness from both sides of the party to contribute and to give a chance to each other in a conversation. More chance= more open mindedness= higher chance of a high F3. And the equation can work the other way.
Effort (E) = Force (F) is an applicable physics concept in our human “physics” communication. The mechanism remains the same, but the subject varies, and so does the Resultant Force (F3). As how Einstein words it in his renowned second law of motion: “Every action has a reaction”.
Therefore the conclusion is:
· The Resultant force (F) in the case of F1 + F2= F3 is dependent on situational factors and personal contribution.
· The Effort (E) = Force (F) theory is proven workable in Human Communication.
DJ online,
DJ Damian Thomas Khaw
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