Thursday, May 20, 2010
Sunday, May 9, 2010
DJ on Silence: I love you, mom
I love you mom, but Aucktoritates Aristatelis would have shot me down if he were alive with his quote that says “Parents love their children more than children love their parents.” Take a time out! Give me a break, will you? It’s mother’s day……
I hit the clock when it struck 6 in the morning. Half asleep and half awake, I clothed myself like a drunken dude. I’m going to hit the market today. My dad and brother just couldn’t let me have all the fun. The 3 of us gaily made our way to the market. Fresh clams, prawns, fish, vegetables, you name it! We’re doing something special for moms tonight.
Her morning started out on a casual note. There were no big hugs, no rich and fattening food to greet her on her bed. Dad, brother and I are all out, sister’s busy making a card in her room. Mom probably thinks that she’s still sleeping like a log like she always do. No one was to be seen. Well, there was no verbal communication that supposedly delighted morning. What a way to start mother’s day, poor mom…..
Well, if you say that there were no communications at all, I think you might want to rephrase your thinking. Indirectly, no matter how silent it is, we’re all performing non- verbal action that indicates otherwise. The trouble to wake up that early, the effort to make a card, the effort to make a trip down town to get a cake, is all acts of love. The message? “Mom, just wait.”
I think that sometimes, action does in a way replace speech in communication. For example, when a boy tries his best to talk to a girl, he’s trying to say “Hey, I'm interested in you. I want to know you more.” And hopefully that one fine day he could be more than friends with that particular girl. Or put it another way, when a motorist on the road shows you his fantastically short finger, he trying to say “You ‘smart’ boy! Pick your own lane!”. Does it make any sense to you now?
At 5pm, dinner preparation began. Sauces, vermicelli, seafood and all the ingredients were being meshed, mixed, boiled, and even grilled. All you can her is just sound of utensils hitting on each other, desperate chefs trying to meet each other’s deadline, and you can even smell aroma steaming out of the kitchen. Come to think of it, these elements are also part and parcel of communication. The message? “Mom, I’m preparing a special dinner for you. It’s from the bottom of my heart.”
During dinner time, mom couldn’t help but to express how happy she was. What did we do in return? Just smile…..and eat, of course. The message? “You’re welcome mom, it’s just a small dot compared to what you’ve been doing all these while.”
Just before I hit the hay sack and bid my grandma moon goodnight, I slipped into the master’s bedroom. With a Chopin’s piano playing at the background, I gave her a tight hug and a kiss on her face. 3 words is all I said the whole day (at least to her), that is “Night night mom!” With that, I left the room.
The message? There’s only one perception and frequency that everyone could agree on. And it is crystal clear, that is “I love you, mom!”
Live online,
-DJ Damian Thomas Khaw
I hit the clock when it struck 6 in the morning. Half asleep and half awake, I clothed myself like a drunken dude. I’m going to hit the market today. My dad and brother just couldn’t let me have all the fun. The 3 of us gaily made our way to the market. Fresh clams, prawns, fish, vegetables, you name it! We’re doing something special for moms tonight.
Her morning started out on a casual note. There were no big hugs, no rich and fattening food to greet her on her bed. Dad, brother and I are all out, sister’s busy making a card in her room. Mom probably thinks that she’s still sleeping like a log like she always do. No one was to be seen. Well, there was no verbal communication that supposedly delighted morning. What a way to start mother’s day, poor mom…..
Well, if you say that there were no communications at all, I think you might want to rephrase your thinking. Indirectly, no matter how silent it is, we’re all performing non- verbal action that indicates otherwise. The trouble to wake up that early, the effort to make a card, the effort to make a trip down town to get a cake, is all acts of love. The message? “Mom, just wait.”
I think that sometimes, action does in a way replace speech in communication. For example, when a boy tries his best to talk to a girl, he’s trying to say “Hey, I'm interested in you. I want to know you more.” And hopefully that one fine day he could be more than friends with that particular girl. Or put it another way, when a motorist on the road shows you his fantastically short finger, he trying to say “You ‘smart’ boy! Pick your own lane!”. Does it make any sense to you now?
At 5pm, dinner preparation began. Sauces, vermicelli, seafood and all the ingredients were being meshed, mixed, boiled, and even grilled. All you can her is just sound of utensils hitting on each other, desperate chefs trying to meet each other’s deadline, and you can even smell aroma steaming out of the kitchen. Come to think of it, these elements are also part and parcel of communication. The message? “Mom, I’m preparing a special dinner for you. It’s from the bottom of my heart.”
During dinner time, mom couldn’t help but to express how happy she was. What did we do in return? Just smile…..and eat, of course. The message? “You’re welcome mom, it’s just a small dot compared to what you’ve been doing all these while.”
Just before I hit the hay sack and bid my grandma moon goodnight, I slipped into the master’s bedroom. With a Chopin’s piano playing at the background, I gave her a tight hug and a kiss on her face. 3 words is all I said the whole day (at least to her), that is “Night night mom!” With that, I left the room.
The message? There’s only one perception and frequency that everyone could agree on. And it is crystal clear, that is “I love you, mom!”
Live online,
-DJ Damian Thomas Khaw
Friday, May 7, 2010
DJ on Message: ~either you are interested or you are not
The intention when composing a piece of message actually takes quite a lot of effort and sincerity. It's just like wrapping a present for a special someone, and after that you just hope for the best. It's when you hope that the other person will return the pleasant favor as well. If they do, you should be happy.
But the problem starts when the other person do not reply at all. Now this is actually means a lot to the sender. It could just mean that you are not interested, and the effect could be very painful. It's just like handing over a box of chocolate but getting shot at in return. And it is very demotivating. This only applies when the receiver does not reply at all.
When a message sent that does not get a reply actually tells you 1 thing, and there is only one conclusion you can draw out of it. That is, "You're just not interested". Simple as that. And there is no need for a lecturer to explain that.
You see, what I'm trying to say is that when you do not reply a message to someone who sends it to you, it just shows how much you value that relationship. If you reply, you are making an effort in that relationship. When you don't, you're either starting to waste it, or you have already decided to waste the relationship.
I'm not only implying this to a boy-girl messaging. In fact, it does apply to a mother to son messaging, or even coworkers to coworkers, and even friends to friends. These are the relationship that we take it for granted and in fact, some of us even label it as insignificant. Am I right? I could be wrong as well. Do enlighten me if it were wrong.
We usually do not experience this sharp pain untill we experience it first hand. And the effect could be very devastating, espcially when the person means a lot to you. And when you get a niel response, you might just loose yourself. And this is very true. You just have to feel it yourselve.
So the next time you receive a messange from anyone, be it your mother, sibling, friend, or even your special girl or boy friend, just keep in mind that you have two choices which solely depends on your interest. It is either you are interested or you are not...........
So what's on your mind?
DJ online,
-Damian Thomas Khaw
But the problem starts when the other person do not reply at all. Now this is actually means a lot to the sender. It could just mean that you are not interested, and the effect could be very painful. It's just like handing over a box of chocolate but getting shot at in return. And it is very demotivating. This only applies when the receiver does not reply at all.
When a message sent that does not get a reply actually tells you 1 thing, and there is only one conclusion you can draw out of it. That is, "You're just not interested". Simple as that. And there is no need for a lecturer to explain that.
You see, what I'm trying to say is that when you do not reply a message to someone who sends it to you, it just shows how much you value that relationship. If you reply, you are making an effort in that relationship. When you don't, you're either starting to waste it, or you have already decided to waste the relationship.
I'm not only implying this to a boy-girl messaging. In fact, it does apply to a mother to son messaging, or even coworkers to coworkers, and even friends to friends. These are the relationship that we take it for granted and in fact, some of us even label it as insignificant. Am I right? I could be wrong as well. Do enlighten me if it were wrong.
We usually do not experience this sharp pain untill we experience it first hand. And the effect could be very devastating, espcially when the person means a lot to you. And when you get a niel response, you might just loose yourself. And this is very true. You just have to feel it yourselve.
So the next time you receive a messange from anyone, be it your mother, sibling, friend, or even your special girl or boy friend, just keep in mind that you have two choices which solely depends on your interest. It is either you are interested or you are not...........
So what's on your mind?
DJ online,
-Damian Thomas Khaw
DJ on Storm: ~it only takes 1 minute
As the saying goes, "a miss is as good as a mile." One could never predict the vast implication when a small mistake is made, be it through speech or even through action. Some lucky ones learn this lesson far away from conflict, while some just had to learn it the hard way.
Speech is a great blessing, but it can be a great curse, for while it helps to make our intention and desire known to our fellows, it can also, if we use it carelessly, make our attitude completely misunderstood.
A slip of the tongue is actually not a fault of the mind. In my opinion, a slip of a tounge, the use of an unusual word or of an ambiguous word may create an enemy when we can help to be a friend. Speking of speech, different classes of people use different vocabilaries and the ordinary speech of an educated person may strike an uneducated listener. Again, competency in communication is vital in avoiding misunderstanding. So speech is not really a gift to be used freely witout thought which demands careful thinking.
However, no matter how much a man wants to avoid conflict through speech, one could never assure that you wont encounter a bad experience of communication. This is especially true when an idea of yours is pieced in a way where it might sound offending to another party. And the implication? The reaction was never what you wil expect to see from that person, especially when that person has been nice to you before the conflict is initiated.
The key so dissolve conflict like this actually takes more than solving the issue there and then through means of meta communication. Yes, a few manage to sit through the talk, but how many of us are strong enought to do that? You see, a conflict only happens when a party is offended and a confrontation has taken place. And my point here is that people involved will definitely by emotional. When emotion takes the better of us, rational thinking is totally imbalance. Personally, I had a similar experience as this. And well, it was really hard to think rationally, especially when you're already emotionally involved.
What about the cure? We are familiar with the phrase "Time will heal on it's own". However, time is not the only ingredient to this malacious disease. Empathy and critical thinking is required as well. In an argument, I strongly believe that no one is totally right or wrong. Let's take an argument between a young teenager and an elder as an example. Perhaps, the idea that was suggested sounds reasonable to a young teenager, but it may sound offending to an elder.Well, I also believe that the elder must have his or her won reason to disagree with that young boy. But then again, emphaty from both parties must take place. The elder has to understand that the young boy is still inexperience and he's prone to make mistakes, while the young boy has to think from the elder's point of view. Either way, ego has to be humbled if emphaty has to take place. This is because any egoistic person will always think that he's totally right. And for him to emphatise the other party's view? That will have to wait till the day when pigs fly.
It takes only one minute to end waht seem to be a happy relationship. However, one minute is also what it takes for reconciliation with each other. One spells a longer and stronger bond, while the other will instantly disintegrate that bond.
So the next time you're in a conflict, pick a stand and work towards it. Either you save it, or you leacve it. What's your stand?
DJ online,
-Damian Thomas Khaw
Speech is a great blessing, but it can be a great curse, for while it helps to make our intention and desire known to our fellows, it can also, if we use it carelessly, make our attitude completely misunderstood.
A slip of the tongue is actually not a fault of the mind. In my opinion, a slip of a tounge, the use of an unusual word or of an ambiguous word may create an enemy when we can help to be a friend. Speking of speech, different classes of people use different vocabilaries and the ordinary speech of an educated person may strike an uneducated listener. Again, competency in communication is vital in avoiding misunderstanding. So speech is not really a gift to be used freely witout thought which demands careful thinking.
However, no matter how much a man wants to avoid conflict through speech, one could never assure that you wont encounter a bad experience of communication. This is especially true when an idea of yours is pieced in a way where it might sound offending to another party. And the implication? The reaction was never what you wil expect to see from that person, especially when that person has been nice to you before the conflict is initiated.
The key so dissolve conflict like this actually takes more than solving the issue there and then through means of meta communication. Yes, a few manage to sit through the talk, but how many of us are strong enought to do that? You see, a conflict only happens when a party is offended and a confrontation has taken place. And my point here is that people involved will definitely by emotional. When emotion takes the better of us, rational thinking is totally imbalance. Personally, I had a similar experience as this. And well, it was really hard to think rationally, especially when you're already emotionally involved.
What about the cure? We are familiar with the phrase "Time will heal on it's own". However, time is not the only ingredient to this malacious disease. Empathy and critical thinking is required as well. In an argument, I strongly believe that no one is totally right or wrong. Let's take an argument between a young teenager and an elder as an example. Perhaps, the idea that was suggested sounds reasonable to a young teenager, but it may sound offending to an elder.Well, I also believe that the elder must have his or her won reason to disagree with that young boy. But then again, emphaty from both parties must take place. The elder has to understand that the young boy is still inexperience and he's prone to make mistakes, while the young boy has to think from the elder's point of view. Either way, ego has to be humbled if emphaty has to take place. This is because any egoistic person will always think that he's totally right. And for him to emphatise the other party's view? That will have to wait till the day when pigs fly.
It takes only one minute to end waht seem to be a happy relationship. However, one minute is also what it takes for reconciliation with each other. One spells a longer and stronger bond, while the other will instantly disintegrate that bond.
So the next time you're in a conflict, pick a stand and work towards it. Either you save it, or you leacve it. What's your stand?
DJ online,
-Damian Thomas Khaw
Scouting: ~The Knots of Life
“Our relationship is on the line” does that sound familiar to you? The truth is, our relationship with people has always been on the line. And the thickness of the line doesn’t increase, and that’s what makes it so precious to us. That is what drives us to take delicate care on the line. But there is one thing that slips out of people’s mind. That is, no matter what line is it, it is always tied with a knot. Whether or not the relationship fruits, solely depends on how tight the knot is. If it’s loose, it will just slip off and there you have a line that’s lifeless.
You see, the knot represents effort. Why? It’s because you need to put in a certain amount of effort in order to produce the knot. And due to the fact that knot makes ties strings together, it show that there’s energy. The tighter the knot is, the warmer the relationship. And relationship varies from person to person, it is reverence when directed to parents; companionship when flows towards friends; passion when it is felt towards the partner; respect when it moves towards elders; kindness when drawn towards children.
Soft Tender Respect in Growth is what makes up the word STRING. None can ever deny that in what ever relationship is may be, these 3 elements, Softness of one’s heart, tenderness through caring, and respect are the keys to keeping and maintaining the string. Should anyone decide at any point of time to not maintain that string, it will frail and might just break out of the extreme pressure, be it depression or rejection.
Well, there are no textbook ways to maintain a string. Just like splicing in scouting, each splice has its own usage, and it can only be used under specific condition. Keeping that in mind when maintaining a relationship, everyone has his or her own way of keeping friends. Some are externally warm; some doesn’t show much emotion but keep their friends close at heart, while some are passively warm. The underlining fact is that as long as the spirit of companionship never dies, you can be assured that the sting will never frail.
Well, knowing that the thickness of the string will never increase, but the strength of the knot may increase, it all comes down to how much effort one puts into tying that knot. It could be a permanent strong knot, or it could just loosen up over time. So what’s your knot?
DJ online,
-DJ Damian Thomas Khaw
Thursday, May 6, 2010
Neutralization (pH 7): HCL + NaOH -- NaCL + H2O
Back in high school, we learned that Acid mixed with Bases, and acid mixed with Alkali will give us salt and water. Salt and water is a product of a process known as neutralization, with a pH 7. pH 7 in chemistry is actually the neutral state of a mixture. It is neither acidic nor alkali. Of course, if the mixture were to have a pH 6, it would give acidic property, while a pH 8 would give an alkali property. To many, a slight change in pH would not be an issue to fuss over with. However, a vast difference in pH would bring about much trouble, it would either turn very sour, or it would turn very bitter.
Applying that knowledge to human communication, by taking pH values as the degree of interest in a conversation, which could be either interesting or not, it could actually serve as a prediction to whether your conversation partner is interested to communicate with you again. Still can’t see the connection, can you?
You see, in a conversation, it could either be dull or interesting. While pH 7 serves as a neutral stand, pH 1 and pH 14 serves as the extreme, with pH1 indicating an extremely dull conversation, while pH 14 indicating an extremely interesting conversation. Now, this is only a small fraction to the whole communication equation. You see, whether or not your conversation partner looks forward to your next conversation actually depends on the pH value of your current conversation. For example, if your conversation is at a pH value of 1, you might just blow off your chance to have another conversation with your current partner. Now you might be thinking that pH 14 is the best, but I assure you not. Why? Well, if your conversation were to have a pH reading of 14, which is extremely interesting, you might have a hard time keeping up to your partner’s expectation. So if you fail to deliver the same amount or more satisfaction, you might have the possibility of loosing your partner’s interest in you, which is as good as a pH 1 conversation.
Well, as you can see the key to an ongoing and interest motivated conversation is not to be on any extreme side, but to balance the interesting and dull. Too interesting will keep your partner entertained but might back fire you the next time if you are unable to deliver the same level of satisfaction, which could be pictured as a one hit wonder kind of thing. Too dull will just kill your chance of talking to your partner again, which can be pictured as a suicide plan. So the key is to be at pH 7. A slight increase or decrease will actually keep your partner hanging and wanting for more. Why? See, if your conversation decreases a little in pH value, it will keep your partner wondering what happened to you, and he or she might just ask you more questions and show more concern. If your conversation has a little increase in pH reading, you can be pictured as a little boy giving a little girl a kiss on the cheek and run away after that, leaving the girl in a fascinated, entertained, and surprised (in a good way) mode. It is like drugs that keeps your partner wanting for more.
Well, one can argue that the equation is not as simple as how I proposed. No doubt it cannot cover the whole picture. Definitely you will have factors like history with the partner and mutual understanding as disapproving factors. For example, one can argue that a dull conversation will not dissatisfy a long married couple, in which you will find a long history of knowledge between them. However, what is proposed here is only a theory that serves as a general statement, which is not totally wrong, and neither totally right.
Well, in general, the key to keep your conversation partner interested in your next conversation is to tap into his or her interest and get out, which is a conversation with a pH value of 6 or 8. Too much or too little of it will just kill their interest.
So, what is the conclusion? Is to try to keep it at a pH 7 level, where you keep them hanging and interested. Try experiment this theory, you might just find it fascinating on how true or how false it is to you. Either way, it is worth your 5 minutes finding out!!!
DJ online,
-DJ Damian Thomas Khaw
When Effort (E)= Force (F)
Can Effort (E) = Force (F), the physics equation be related to life, the human communication of life. Does it give a positive value or does it in turn give a negative value? We are familiar with the way people accept and reject us. However, little attention is paid to whether or not that acceptance or rejection is due to the effort put in. But there will come a time where we’ll all come to a point of time where we ponder whether extra effort in a conversation will give bigger impact in communication, especially when it involves the people we treasure. It not only works for the people we care about, but it also works on everyone, regardless of who they are, and their status. For a competent speaker, the E matters a lot.
In physics, force is a vector quantity, which means that is has direction of propagation, taking that F1 + F2 =F3 (note: F is Force). When the F1 and F2 forces are acting in the same direction, the F3 would result in a bigger force. How ever, if the F1 and F2 are acting in a different direction, repulsion occurs, therefore, F3 will be a “0” value, or even a negative value. Therefore, if a positive F3 is desired, the force of either F1 or F2 has to be larger than the other in order to obtain a positive result.
This principle can be used in our life, taking F1 and F2 as the effort used of two people in a conversation, while the F3 represents the velocity of their conversation. To critically think it, the result of F3 greatly depends on the attitude of F1 and F2 in the conversation. If either one of them were to be less interested, the F3 , resultant force would be dissatisfactory. Therefore, F1 or F2 has to put in more effort if a good conversation were to be achieved. And the answer to why either F1 or F2 is less interested could be dependent on these few factors, namely tiredness, stress from work, conflict of interest and many more. To overcome this imbalanced equation, cracking a joke to ease the tension, or even talking about the subject’s interest and even listening extra hard would be a great catalyst. However, many a times, the less interested party fails to acknowledge the extra effort put in. But on the other hand, some might realize the extra F in the Equation and work extra hard to balance it, now this is the exception in our human “physics” world.
But bear in mind that realizing the imbalanced force in the equation might not lead to a positive integer. It could also bring about negative values. For instance, let’s take a boy chasing a girl for instance. Naturally, when a boy likes a girl, he would put in extra effort to make the girl happy. Now many a times, whether or not the girl is interested or not will affect the F3 resultant force. If it’s a yes, then F1+F2=F3, with F3 as a positive integer. But if it’s a no, then the extra effort might just remain at a “0” constant value, or it could backfire and travel done the negative line. So this proves that Effort doesn’t always = Force.
From the examples given above, it could be derived that F1 and F2 are independent of each other. F1 will do it’s part while F2 on the other hand would react to personal feelings and interest on F1. The F3 varies from situation to situation. If a positive value were to be obtained, we could be sure that the F3 would accelerate and increase in Velocity (V).
However, if a negative value were to be obtained, the situation is best handled by the potential contributor at that point of time. The rule states that in normal circumstances, F3 would either be a constant value, a “0” value or a negative value. But the exception is when F3 is a positive value and increasing.
However the situation maybe, or however the resultant force may be, the most important factor in a conversation equation is the willingness from both sides of the party to contribute and to give a chance to each other in a conversation. More chance= more open mindedness= higher chance of a high F3. And the equation can work the other way.
Effort (E) = Force (F) is an applicable physics concept in our human “physics” communication. The mechanism remains the same, but the subject varies, and so does the Resultant Force (F3). As how Einstein words it in his renowned second law of motion: “Every action has a reaction”.
Therefore the conclusion is:
· The Resultant force (F) in the case of F1 + F2= F3 is dependent on situational factors and personal contribution.
· The Effort (E) = Force (F) theory is proven workable in Human Communication.
DJ online,
DJ Damian Thomas Khaw
In physics, force is a vector quantity, which means that is has direction of propagation, taking that F1 + F2 =F3 (note: F is Force). When the F1 and F2 forces are acting in the same direction, the F3 would result in a bigger force. How ever, if the F1 and F2 are acting in a different direction, repulsion occurs, therefore, F3 will be a “0” value, or even a negative value. Therefore, if a positive F3 is desired, the force of either F1 or F2 has to be larger than the other in order to obtain a positive result.
This principle can be used in our life, taking F1 and F2 as the effort used of two people in a conversation, while the F3 represents the velocity of their conversation. To critically think it, the result of F3 greatly depends on the attitude of F1 and F2 in the conversation. If either one of them were to be less interested, the F3 , resultant force would be dissatisfactory. Therefore, F1 or F2 has to put in more effort if a good conversation were to be achieved. And the answer to why either F1 or F2 is less interested could be dependent on these few factors, namely tiredness, stress from work, conflict of interest and many more. To overcome this imbalanced equation, cracking a joke to ease the tension, or even talking about the subject’s interest and even listening extra hard would be a great catalyst. However, many a times, the less interested party fails to acknowledge the extra effort put in. But on the other hand, some might realize the extra F in the Equation and work extra hard to balance it, now this is the exception in our human “physics” world.
But bear in mind that realizing the imbalanced force in the equation might not lead to a positive integer. It could also bring about negative values. For instance, let’s take a boy chasing a girl for instance. Naturally, when a boy likes a girl, he would put in extra effort to make the girl happy. Now many a times, whether or not the girl is interested or not will affect the F3 resultant force. If it’s a yes, then F1+F2=F3, with F3 as a positive integer. But if it’s a no, then the extra effort might just remain at a “0” constant value, or it could backfire and travel done the negative line. So this proves that Effort doesn’t always = Force.
From the examples given above, it could be derived that F1 and F2 are independent of each other. F1 will do it’s part while F2 on the other hand would react to personal feelings and interest on F1. The F3 varies from situation to situation. If a positive value were to be obtained, we could be sure that the F3 would accelerate and increase in Velocity (V).
However, if a negative value were to be obtained, the situation is best handled by the potential contributor at that point of time. The rule states that in normal circumstances, F3 would either be a constant value, a “0” value or a negative value. But the exception is when F3 is a positive value and increasing.
However the situation maybe, or however the resultant force may be, the most important factor in a conversation equation is the willingness from both sides of the party to contribute and to give a chance to each other in a conversation. More chance= more open mindedness= higher chance of a high F3. And the equation can work the other way.
Effort (E) = Force (F) is an applicable physics concept in our human “physics” communication. The mechanism remains the same, but the subject varies, and so does the Resultant Force (F3). As how Einstein words it in his renowned second law of motion: “Every action has a reaction”.
Therefore the conclusion is:
· The Resultant force (F) in the case of F1 + F2= F3 is dependent on situational factors and personal contribution.
· The Effort (E) = Force (F) theory is proven workable in Human Communication.
DJ online,
DJ Damian Thomas Khaw
The Longest Walk
80, 95, 78… it was the 1st semester of 5th Form examination as I could recall. Everybody was delighted to receive their Additional Mathematics results, while I on the other hand was on the opposite side of the river. Well, guess what? I was the last to receive. In fact, Mrs. Tay didn’t call out my name at all! Chiti-chiti Bang Bang! As I expected, she wanted to have a private chat with me. As I recalled, her tone was more than of a concerned and upset one than an angry one. The red ink on my paper showed 20….
The fact is, I will be facing my add math tuition teacher that very same afternoon, whom my parents have work so hard to pay her fees. The point is, it is definitely not pleasing at all for her to know that I’ve been doing so badly all these while, and what more; I’ll be sitting for my SPM examination in a few months time! In fact, it must be disappointing and frustrating for her to know that she failed to teach me well. That whole day in school, I had a dilemma on whether to tell her the truth and admit that I really needed help or not. She always thought that I did well in school. And the fact that she’s a strict teacher made me think quintuple more on whether to burst the balloon or not.
I truly agree that time and tide waits for not man. As much as I wanted to be straight and truthful to her, I just couldn’t. When class dismissed that afternoon, I was the 1st to leave the class. Don’t even think about my marks, she didn’t even have the chance to ask me. As soon as I got out of her house, I paddled as hard as I could.
It’s just 50 meters to my house when I decided to stop. I stood at the side of the street and started to think, and I thought hard. You see, as much as I couldn’t bring myself to tell the truth, I couldn’t tell a lie either. I just couldn’t. It’s such a shameful secret that I’ve kept from her so long. I guess that the fact that I know she’s willing to spent extra time and effort to help me prompted me to do what is right. At that point of time, I knew what I had to do, and I realize the reason why I shied away from telling her the truth. It was simply because I was scared. I was just too afraid to see her angry and disappointed. The thought of this really demotivated me. But I told myself that if I can’t be truthful now, when am I going to learn to be truthful? How are people suppose to trust me if I do not start now?It was the hardest thing to do; it really isn’t, especially when it involves telling the right thing to the right person at the right time, and knowing that at that right moment, that right person will be less than happy. I didn’t know what gave me the courage, but all I remember was picking up my bike and the rest took place naturally.
I could still remember myself sitting on her bench in her garden, letting go of my tears. For how long was it, I couldn’t remember. I told her everything, about how I started to fail and how lightly I took it. She knew I was jus as disappointed as she is. I could still recall her saying: “Damian, you have made some mistakes, it’s still not too late to catch up. I’ll help you, ok? You do your part, and I’ll do mine. Don’t worry…” those were the exact words she told me. And that was the first time in 5 years I saw the soft side of her, it was very comforting and motivating.
Honesty is like a magic that amazes you in ways you can hardly imagine. The truth hurts, but it is a wound that heals well along with time, whereas a lie is a cancer that breaks out and never subsides. Frankness and directness is still the best approach the most difficult task. Ironic isn’t it? The hardest thing in the world is always the right thing to do. It should have been the other way around, but unfortunately in our world that we live in; it just doesn’t work that way. The world could be so much of a better place if only HONESTY were part of our NATURAL human communication.
What took place that day was a real turning point in my life. I learnt the hard way that I have to shame the devil and admit my weakness in order to be stronger. But that was only a small drop of what honesty can bring me. We always hear that honesty is the best policy. I might have loose my respect that day, but it certainly got me to the right place in the end. The best road to take isn’t always the smoothest road, nor is it the lousiest. You just have to search a little deep down your heart and grab it tightly as u take that road. You loose out in the poor construction of the road, but at the end of the road is what makes you stronger each time you travel it. You loose some, but you definitely gain some. And sometimes the reward is heftier than your effort. You will never loose out, never.
That evening, I could not be more than glad that I made the right choice to tell the truth. To some, this story is just another lame joke. But to me, it’s more than a turning point of my life; it was a turning point that drove me to elevate myself each day. It was a turning point that altered my attitude that made me who I am today, and still elevating.
Trotting down the road with my bicycle beside me, I took a slow walk back home. It was the longest but the happiest walk of my life, not because of any reason, it was simple because I found a very precious key to human communication that day, and I used it………….
DJ online,
DJ Damian Thomas Khaw
The fact is, I will be facing my add math tuition teacher that very same afternoon, whom my parents have work so hard to pay her fees. The point is, it is definitely not pleasing at all for her to know that I’ve been doing so badly all these while, and what more; I’ll be sitting for my SPM examination in a few months time! In fact, it must be disappointing and frustrating for her to know that she failed to teach me well. That whole day in school, I had a dilemma on whether to tell her the truth and admit that I really needed help or not. She always thought that I did well in school. And the fact that she’s a strict teacher made me think quintuple more on whether to burst the balloon or not.
I truly agree that time and tide waits for not man. As much as I wanted to be straight and truthful to her, I just couldn’t. When class dismissed that afternoon, I was the 1st to leave the class. Don’t even think about my marks, she didn’t even have the chance to ask me. As soon as I got out of her house, I paddled as hard as I could.
It’s just 50 meters to my house when I decided to stop. I stood at the side of the street and started to think, and I thought hard. You see, as much as I couldn’t bring myself to tell the truth, I couldn’t tell a lie either. I just couldn’t. It’s such a shameful secret that I’ve kept from her so long. I guess that the fact that I know she’s willing to spent extra time and effort to help me prompted me to do what is right. At that point of time, I knew what I had to do, and I realize the reason why I shied away from telling her the truth. It was simply because I was scared. I was just too afraid to see her angry and disappointed. The thought of this really demotivated me. But I told myself that if I can’t be truthful now, when am I going to learn to be truthful? How are people suppose to trust me if I do not start now?It was the hardest thing to do; it really isn’t, especially when it involves telling the right thing to the right person at the right time, and knowing that at that right moment, that right person will be less than happy. I didn’t know what gave me the courage, but all I remember was picking up my bike and the rest took place naturally.
I could still remember myself sitting on her bench in her garden, letting go of my tears. For how long was it, I couldn’t remember. I told her everything, about how I started to fail and how lightly I took it. She knew I was jus as disappointed as she is. I could still recall her saying: “Damian, you have made some mistakes, it’s still not too late to catch up. I’ll help you, ok? You do your part, and I’ll do mine. Don’t worry…” those were the exact words she told me. And that was the first time in 5 years I saw the soft side of her, it was very comforting and motivating.
Honesty is like a magic that amazes you in ways you can hardly imagine. The truth hurts, but it is a wound that heals well along with time, whereas a lie is a cancer that breaks out and never subsides. Frankness and directness is still the best approach the most difficult task. Ironic isn’t it? The hardest thing in the world is always the right thing to do. It should have been the other way around, but unfortunately in our world that we live in; it just doesn’t work that way. The world could be so much of a better place if only HONESTY were part of our NATURAL human communication.
What took place that day was a real turning point in my life. I learnt the hard way that I have to shame the devil and admit my weakness in order to be stronger. But that was only a small drop of what honesty can bring me. We always hear that honesty is the best policy. I might have loose my respect that day, but it certainly got me to the right place in the end. The best road to take isn’t always the smoothest road, nor is it the lousiest. You just have to search a little deep down your heart and grab it tightly as u take that road. You loose out in the poor construction of the road, but at the end of the road is what makes you stronger each time you travel it. You loose some, but you definitely gain some. And sometimes the reward is heftier than your effort. You will never loose out, never.
That evening, I could not be more than glad that I made the right choice to tell the truth. To some, this story is just another lame joke. But to me, it’s more than a turning point of my life; it was a turning point that drove me to elevate myself each day. It was a turning point that altered my attitude that made me who I am today, and still elevating.
Trotting down the road with my bicycle beside me, I took a slow walk back home. It was the longest but the happiest walk of my life, not because of any reason, it was simple because I found a very precious key to human communication that day, and I used it………….
DJ online,
DJ Damian Thomas Khaw
Goodbye: Genuinely Special
“A goodbye is never painful unless you’re never going to say hello again.” Goodbye messages could be conveyed through speech, songs, and actions and even on written materials like cards. Some may experience a painful one; some sorrowful; some are more than happy; most of us, casual. What took place last Friday was genuinely special to me.
My calendar marked 22nd of May, 2009. The time on my watch on my right hand read 0230 hrs. “There goes another scout camp” I said to myself as Daniel and I made our way to our HMC Leadership Camp camper’s spot. A Daniel and I were making our way down to the lower foyer of campus; we observe a pool of people. Some are campers, some are non-campers. Well, the honest, there was a group of friends waiting to bid goodbye, but I could clearly spot one alone. As soon as my eyes caught hers, a smiled took shape with a wave following behind it. She did the same in resonance.
To start off with, we didn’t say much to each other. We just kept smiling to each other. Our language was non-verbal, convergent in a way that only we understood it was on a high note; we were just delighted to see each other, at least which apply to me. It truly meant something to me, it was sweet. And I believe anyone who has been in my position would agree on this as well. The whole scene itself was a language to me that says, “See you soon, ok? Do take care.” We managed to have a group photo before we campers were ushered to the hall for briefing.
As I turned to say goodbye, just before I walk on and never look back, I saw her waving. The sight of her standing still, waving with a smile was just enough to melt me like a candle wax. There were no physical contact, no hand shake, no our usual high five. Just a wave and that was enough. The effort to be there was just significant already.
I think that you don’t need to say much to express what’s on the inside. Human communication does not only involve speech, which is verbal communication, but also emotion, which falls under non-verbal communication. All you need to do is to be psychologically in tuned to the same frequency. That way, any messages could be sent and would not be perceived wrongly. And with the same understood language as an enhancement to communication? You can be sure to avoid any form of communication break down.
When I came out, all my friends weren’t there anymore; she wasn’t there either. Well, she had a class to catch, all in all we’re all students. At anytime, studies overwrite what comes next. I understood that perfectly well. Besides, we’re just good friends at the moment. Anything extra is just the extended version of it.
It’s special to know that you have friends that appreciate you, and be there when you need them to be. And it’s even special when that someone special to you does the same thing. Human Communication is just a mystery. In this case, it’s pure special. What happened that day was just indescribable. The best I could come up with is just ‘Genuinely Special’.
DJ online,
-DJ Damian Thomas Khaw
~awkwardly sweet~
Hollywood made it easy to express, the wedding cards gives you the impression that it is the easiest thing to say, contemporary songs made it colossally easy to song it out.
Have you ever tried expressing the most unpretentious phrase to a person you really like? However it may seem, it certainly proved to be the most abstruse expression I have ever attempted to project.
Some may ask, “Is this the first time you’re telling a girl? Chill brother! You? Being nervous? This isn’t you at all…” hmm… come to think of it, it’s quite true to say that it’s really my first time falling for some one for what she really is. Did I fall for her looks? It’s very fake of me to say no either. I believe that the majority settle for looks at the very first place before considering other factors, as people takes what is most obvious to them. However, you can never judge a book by its cover. You have to flip it, read it, and even understand it. As how Bacon would put it, “Some books are to be tasted others to be swallowed and a few to be chewed and digested.”
Saying that “I like you phrase” may be as ABC to some, but trust me, it’s more like XYZ to me, especially when you don’t have psychic to tell whether it will back fire or not. I’ll have all these “pre-telling” trauma like “Will she ignore me after telling her?”, “Is this an ill time to tell her?” Well folks, read on to see whether I had a happy ending!
Lunch on Thursdays is always extraordinary. For some reason, I always look forward to Thursdays. You know, back in high school, you will get a lousy schedule with your least favorite subjects in it that makes you go “God, it’s Thursday again!!!” But it all change in college, not to mention I only have 1 Human Communication class on that day. And lunch with her on every Thursday? It was the bonus that I wouldn’t as too much for!
Even as casual friends, I would bring lunch and we’ll share it. Please don’t get me wrong. We’re not eating from the same bowl, but divide it of course! Occasionally, she’ll do the rice, while I do the vegetables. What I’m trying to say is that we put the same amount of effort to our friendship, and that’s part of human communication as well.
To cut long story short, I planned to tell her that 3 word phrase on that particular Thursday. The question is how? Well, I had my plan A ready at the back of my hand. I actually planned to tell her on our way to a Korean Embassy event, after lunch. Well, at least I knew how the flow went.
We had a great chat that day during lunch. Then, we were supposed to catch a campus coach to attend the Korean Embassy event in Renaissance Hotel, but we missed the bus… Good Lord, now that the bus Is gone, I have no choice but to scrape plan A, which was to tell her on the bus!! What is more? I don’t have a plan B at all!!
So we headed to the computer lab to study for marketing quiz which was about to happen in a few days time. We have a campus online learning portal. So notes are available anytime. Well, guess what? She went on Facebook instead of studying, how hilarious is that? What a way to “study”, right?
At that point of time, I knew that opportunity is here. She isn’t pressured in any how; she’s online on Facebook, which means she’s free! So I had to find a perfect reason to lure her out of lab so that I could at least tell her in private. At least with that reason, our conversation wouldn’t sound too random, which of course would back fire if it’s done wrongly. Guess what was my perfect reason? My perfect reason was to buy her ice cream, which I had promise her that I would in the past. “Every strong chain has it’s weakest point; every ‘perfect’ reason has its perfect loophole.” And the perfect ice cream just turned into a blast-cream, because she wasn’t in the mood for it!
Well, by God’s grace another chance came. I wasn’t skeptical about chances, because it was all I ever had. So we were waiting for a friend in our campus corridor. We continued to chat as we were waiting. And the worst thing could ever happen just did happen! We were just topic- less.
I was lost for words! That’s the worst thing that you would ever expect from me. A part time Emcee and a hyperactive friend who could never keep his mouth shut just lost for words all of a sudden? I guess this is what they call psychology noise in human communication. To observe silence in the library is fine, but to observe silence after a conversation about “what kind of guys do you like” is not fine at all. Trust me, it was dead awkward.
I couldn’t remember how silent I was, but what I remember was the struggle to tell her, which I think she felt it too. To my surprise, just before I could open my mouth, she sprung up to me and told me that she knew what I was about to do all along. Well, she wasn’t awkward in a negative way when she said that to me. Instead, she was smiling, but awkward at the same time. At least I know that I’m not in for rejection. She then continued saying that she feels comfortable with the way things are, which was being friends at the moment, and might consider taking a step-up in the near future. I perfectly understood how she felt, and some things just cannot be pressured. What more? I can afford to wait for we are going to do the same course in our degree. I did explain to her that I didn’t mean to push her and hope that this wouldn’t affect our friendship. And she took it well. Till date, we agreed that we’re doing very well as friends and hope that things will not change for the worst. The least expected question from her was “you’ll wait for me, right?” What do you expect me to say? Yes, of course. I truly thank God that I wasn’t shot flat face down.
It only took 3 minutes of my entire life to express. Even though the wait would take up to more than God knows how many years, but that 3 minutes seems to be much longer compared to the wait. Time take? 3 minutes. Number of people involved? 2 people. Location? Our campus corridor. The language used? Awkwardly sweet.
At 5pm, just before she turned her back and leave for the exit that I normally walk her to, I looked at her and said with my awkwardly sweet tone, “I’ll wait for you!”
DJ online,
-DJ Damian Thomas Khaw
Ah Keong~
"To err is to be human, to forgive is divine" If that were true, I think I just experienced humanity and divinity, both together at the same time.
If you think that just because you’re e paying RM12200 for each subject you enrolled, you’ll get knowledge? No doubt you will. Academically, it’s a big “Yes”. Life wise? I don’t think so. I think we could agree that there’ll come a time where academic knowledge is pointless in life, and that life lesson is more valuable. Reason? It’s simply because life lesson is obtained through many years of experience. It could be 30 years, 40 years…who knows?
Still skeptical? Put it this way, “By studying, I may loose to you, but to survive and being successful in this world? I guarantee you I’m no lower than you.” Think about this phrase and relate to what I said earlier. Does it make any sense to you? If life lesion were to be more valuable than academic lesson, I think I just got lucky. Why? It’s because I learnt this lesson off the class, through a hawker, someone who’s always being regarded as uneducated. But mind you, these people are just as educated as any of us is. Papers are just decorations on a visa when it comes to the real world. Veterans will strongly agree on this point. The thought of hawker are uneducated people is just purely human perception without any solid and concrete evidence.
It’s 16th of May, and I’m in charge of food and beverages in this college event, known as C2AGE. Well, I managed to convinced them to turn up for the event. Am competent in communicating? I have just proven myself. All things are well, at least for now…..
To cut long story short, this hawker was placed a bit far from the event venue. To be frank, I t wasn’t a fair game for him because there were more stalls inside the venue. Put it this way, the crowd was never near him at all.
Working non-stop for more than 24 hours, exhausted and tired, he was already loosing his temper with much flowered language, of course. What more? He has zero sales and it’s been 4 hours since he has been here. After trying 13 times to call me but greeted by failure because I was busy doing emcee, he just wanted to quit, pack up and hit the hay sack. But somehow, he stayed. Bare in mind that he’s already superbly pissed. Any passerby would probably sympathize and perceive that he’s being unreasonable. On the other hand, I really empathize his position and I think he has every rights to be reasonable. And for him to stay on with these conditions was just a miracle.
It’s 5, the event is about to end, still very little sales, not to mention profit. A call came, it was the pissed hawker. However reluctant to meet him, I went anyway. I didn’t wanted to meet him is because it just the same as walking in to a lion’s den.
It started off very coldly, not to mention that it was also raining. Knowing that more communication doesn’t always solve any problem ( at least in this case), I kept quiet. The wisest thing for me to do now is just listening. Trust me, it was way harder than I expected.
Expecting him to give me a big tight slap on the face and leave, he gave me a lecture instead. He started to tell me how things should be done, angrily of course. Well, put it this way, he’s giving me another chance, and all he’s asking is just to make enough money to patch up his petrol fee, a rather simple request. At this point, I knew that action speaks louder than words, and it’s a now or never situation.
Well, I gave him what he wanted, or should I say what he needed. I took the whole organizing committee out to his stall, and he was more than happy to see a stream of black t-shirts walking towards his stall. I saw the ticket, I took it, and I ran into the train.
On that “train”, I wondered why he didn’t pack up and leave when he had the chance. I had that mind blogging question in mind, and it was soon answered when he and I had a small chat while I was eating at this stall.
I guess I have a theory to propose, or rather a perception at this point of time, that is “All strangers can and always can communicate, as long as they have empathy towards each other.” He stayed because he knew that I was still young and I lost because of experience deficiency, and he knew that to blame me for his poor sale was just too poor of him. He stayed because he wanted to give me another chance, and that he looked at the bigger picture and he knew my position very well. On the other hand, I knew about his position and I simply acted upon it.
In the end, with each other’s phone number in each other’s phone, contented, we parted ways waving to each other. At that very second I knew that I could make an angry terrorist to my new good friend. I experienced the humanity side of him, that is anger and disappointment. What about the divine part of him? Well, he was just too God-like to skip the details and teach me new tricks for life.
That is what I call divinity!
LIve online,
-DJ Damian Thomas Khaw-
If you think that just because you’re e paying RM12200 for each subject you enrolled, you’ll get knowledge? No doubt you will. Academically, it’s a big “Yes”. Life wise? I don’t think so. I think we could agree that there’ll come a time where academic knowledge is pointless in life, and that life lesson is more valuable. Reason? It’s simply because life lesson is obtained through many years of experience. It could be 30 years, 40 years…who knows?
Still skeptical? Put it this way, “By studying, I may loose to you, but to survive and being successful in this world? I guarantee you I’m no lower than you.” Think about this phrase and relate to what I said earlier. Does it make any sense to you? If life lesion were to be more valuable than academic lesson, I think I just got lucky. Why? It’s because I learnt this lesson off the class, through a hawker, someone who’s always being regarded as uneducated. But mind you, these people are just as educated as any of us is. Papers are just decorations on a visa when it comes to the real world. Veterans will strongly agree on this point. The thought of hawker are uneducated people is just purely human perception without any solid and concrete evidence.
It’s 16th of May, and I’m in charge of food and beverages in this college event, known as C2AGE. Well, I managed to convinced them to turn up for the event. Am competent in communicating? I have just proven myself. All things are well, at least for now…..
To cut long story short, this hawker was placed a bit far from the event venue. To be frank, I t wasn’t a fair game for him because there were more stalls inside the venue. Put it this way, the crowd was never near him at all.
Working non-stop for more than 24 hours, exhausted and tired, he was already loosing his temper with much flowered language, of course. What more? He has zero sales and it’s been 4 hours since he has been here. After trying 13 times to call me but greeted by failure because I was busy doing emcee, he just wanted to quit, pack up and hit the hay sack. But somehow, he stayed. Bare in mind that he’s already superbly pissed. Any passerby would probably sympathize and perceive that he’s being unreasonable. On the other hand, I really empathize his position and I think he has every rights to be reasonable. And for him to stay on with these conditions was just a miracle.
It’s 5, the event is about to end, still very little sales, not to mention profit. A call came, it was the pissed hawker. However reluctant to meet him, I went anyway. I didn’t wanted to meet him is because it just the same as walking in to a lion’s den.
It started off very coldly, not to mention that it was also raining. Knowing that more communication doesn’t always solve any problem ( at least in this case), I kept quiet. The wisest thing for me to do now is just listening. Trust me, it was way harder than I expected.
Expecting him to give me a big tight slap on the face and leave, he gave me a lecture instead. He started to tell me how things should be done, angrily of course. Well, put it this way, he’s giving me another chance, and all he’s asking is just to make enough money to patch up his petrol fee, a rather simple request. At this point, I knew that action speaks louder than words, and it’s a now or never situation.
Well, I gave him what he wanted, or should I say what he needed. I took the whole organizing committee out to his stall, and he was more than happy to see a stream of black t-shirts walking towards his stall. I saw the ticket, I took it, and I ran into the train.
On that “train”, I wondered why he didn’t pack up and leave when he had the chance. I had that mind blogging question in mind, and it was soon answered when he and I had a small chat while I was eating at this stall.
I guess I have a theory to propose, or rather a perception at this point of time, that is “All strangers can and always can communicate, as long as they have empathy towards each other.” He stayed because he knew that I was still young and I lost because of experience deficiency, and he knew that to blame me for his poor sale was just too poor of him. He stayed because he wanted to give me another chance, and that he looked at the bigger picture and he knew my position very well. On the other hand, I knew about his position and I simply acted upon it.
In the end, with each other’s phone number in each other’s phone, contented, we parted ways waving to each other. At that very second I knew that I could make an angry terrorist to my new good friend. I experienced the humanity side of him, that is anger and disappointment. What about the divine part of him? Well, he was just too God-like to skip the details and teach me new tricks for life.
That is what I call divinity!
LIve online,
-DJ Damian Thomas Khaw-
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